what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
