glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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