i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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