Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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