also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
