Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
