$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
