Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
