I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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