evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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