Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
