Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
