I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
