Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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