you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
whose parrot is this?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
