Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
