garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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