what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
