i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
