I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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