You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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