Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
