Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
