Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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