Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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