I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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