Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
