So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
