Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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