I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
