drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
