What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Every concussion has its silver lining
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
