saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
