K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
