he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i love accidental penises.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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