i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
