Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
