SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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