just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
