she smelled like a LAN party
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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