he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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