New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
