a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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