Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
