The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
