We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
