Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
one two three fourrrrnication!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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