so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
