The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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