apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
