Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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